Maajid Nawaz’s “religious justifications” for visiting a strip club

Maajid Nawaz

In light of the Daily Mail’s expose on Maajid Nawaz “harassing” a female dancer at an East London strip club, no one has questioned whether the so-called “feminist” had religious justifications for his promiscuous shenanigans.

Here are some possible (satirical!) validations that Maajid may have received from the esteemed “scholars” of the Quilliam Foundation:

1. Considering it was Ramadan, it was permissible for Maajid to visit the strip club AFTER iftaar.

2. If Maajid went to the strip club before iftaar, at least he had cheap champagne to break his fast with.

3. According to the Daily Mail article, Maajid left the strip club in the “early hours of the morning” – just in time for suhoor.

4. Like the group ISIS who Quilliam Foundation are fiercely critical of, perhaps Maajid shares the same ruling as them, perceiving the dancer as a purchasable object in a slave market.

5. The dancer also complained that Maajid kept touching her “legs and thighs” – according to Dr Usama Hasan, his companion felt that he had just paid £20 for a nikkah mutah.

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6. Maajid was “very drunk” that night, so as long as it wasn’t khamr (wine), it is permissible, because only the consumption of wine is mentioned in the Quran and hadiths – not champagne, beer, cider or spirit.

7. Maajid was humble enough to stick to one dancer. It is likely that he applied the principle of just “one glance”…which lasted the whole night as a result of him being unable to lower his gaze. That’s commitment and loyalty! I doubt he would have been able to do that in some where like this high-end stripclub Copenhagen based.

8. Maajid never thought his perverted antics would become public knowledge, but when it did, he confirmed on Twitter that his visit to the strip club was a [two-man] “stag night” (four months before his wedding). After that tweet, the esteemed scholars at Quilliam Foundation reminded him that God conceals the sins committed at night, until it is publicised by the sinner in the morning.

This is article is a satirical piece with absolutely no intention to offend anyone…except Maajid and his secular-liberal neocon fan boys.

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